


Sweet Dreams are made of Memes (who am I to kiss a Bee?)

by gaylie



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Collars, Dick Pics, Math, Other, Underswap AU, drug mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 06:56:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7834687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaylie/pseuds/gaylie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You and your friends, whom are completely unimportant to the plot, were invited to one of the sick parties of River Person. Unfortunately when you arrive, you're quite a bit early so you've still got some time to kill. Good thing two certain skeletons also apparently live at River Person's apartment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet Dreams are made of Memes (who am I to kiss a Bee?)

**Author's Note:**

> so I had a dream and I was like "this is so stupid, I wanna write a oneshot of this."  
> enjoy

You all had been invited to one of the sick parties of boat person. So without hesitation you and your friends hopped onto your motorbikes and made your way to their place. It was an apartment in a rather high building, yet somehow every single one of you managed to jump right through the wall with your motorbikes, parking them in the hallway.

It was Papyrus who saw you first, frowning to himself as he took a long drag on his cigarette.

"y'all are too early, yo," he said, pushing himself off the couch to approach you and your friends.  
So you had some time to kill, you figured. You checked the clock and realized that, yep, just like he said, it way too early. Like, really early in the morning, and the party wasn't supposed to start until afternoon. So you might as well take a nap, right? Right. With a nonchalant shrug you threw yourself onto the couch Papyrus had occupied minutes ago and let yourself drift off to sleep.  
You see, the thing about dreams is that you often don't actually see stuff in the perspective of yourself, rather than with an omnipotent vision. Not always, of course, but sometimes you can just see and hear everything like a god. And thus you could clearly watch as Papyrus dropped himself onto the couch, sitting on your stretched out legs, and opened his own pants. Unmoving you watched him take a few pictures of his dick with his phone, and you didn't even have to _watch_ him to know he posted them on his tumblr online.

When you finally _did_ wake up, Papyrus' face was close to you and you could feel his boner clearly pushing against your crotch area.

"oh my," he drawled in that clearly fake tone, "i didn't even _look_ before if someone was lying here. my bad, is there anyway i can make it up to you, that i just _so_ rudely sat down here?" He gave a quick thrust to emphasize his words, but you didn't even care what he was saying and instead snatched the phone off the small table next to you. Befuddled Papyrus watched as you tapped away on his phone, finding what you were looking for. You turned the screen towards him, showing the series of dick pics he had posted online earlier.  
"Hah, fucking busted, asshole," you sneered at him.

Still surprised Papyrus stared at the phone for some moments, before sitting upright again, then leaving the couch. "lmao, whatever," he said, and you seriously wondered how he just pronounced 'lmao' out loud. "don't tell sans." And with that the lanky skeleton left you alone in the living room, joining his friends to get stoned or whatever.

So searching Sans was your new mission.

You asked around a bit, trying to figure out if anyone had seen Sans around. But as it turns out, the small skeleton had been missing for a few hours. Some told you they assumed that he had locked himself up in his room, but somehow that just striked you as uncharacteristic of him.

You didn't get to search for that much longer, as you soon could feel someone wrapping something around your throat. It felt cold and tight, but not too tight to choke you.  
"HIYA HUMAN!" You could hear Sans' chipper voice behind you, although there was no relief in finally finding him. Maybe because you hadn't actually found him rather than he had found you. Or maybe it was because there was something dangerous in his voice.

As you were paralyzed with fear, Sans decided to finally walk around you to face you, and with him, whatever he had put around your throat got tugged along. You glanced at Blue's gloved hand to find a... oh, a leash. So on your neck was...  
"A collar?"  
"YEP! YOU LIKE IT?" Sans asked as you moved your hands to tug lightly on the leather around your throat.  
"I don't know...," you muttered. "Sans, what is the meaning of this?"

You heard Sans giggle giddily like a small child, before giving the leash and experimental tug, that left you choking a little.  
"OH, YOU'LL SEE!" He said with a big grin and a small wink. You didn't like this. You were _scared_ . You had _no_ idea what Sans wanted to do with you, so you _fought._

But Sans' grip on the leash was far too strong, and he soon tugged it down far enough so that you had to bend down, your face on the height of his'. He gripped the leash on the base of where it connected to the collar, keeping his hand there.  
"NOW, NOW," he cooed carefully. "YOU DON'T WANT THE OTHERS TO HEAR US, NOW DO YOU?"  
"God damn it, Sans, if you won't let go I'm gonna make fucking sure the _world_ will hear me!" You cursed, to which Sans' let out a few disappointed tuts.

"IN THAT CASE..." He began, before taking your head in a head-lock, using his hand to cover your mouth. How the _hell_ was he that strong?

"IT'S NOT THAT FAR, DON'T WORRY," Sans assured you, but his words weren't calming at all.

Staying that way, he lead you through the apartment, seeming entirely unfazed by your struggles. He lead you through a few empty rooms, then up the stairs, until he finally opened a small door.

"TA-DA!!!" He cheered gleefully, letting go of you. "IT'S MY ROOM!"  
He gave you a gently push into the room, then followed after, closing the door behind you.

The room wasn't exactly large, but it was kind of cute. The floor was covered by a carpet and there were large windows on the wall to your left. Right next to you was a small wooden shelf, and several, taller shelves and closets were on the wall to the right. On top of them you could see a series of different trophies. What caught your eye the most, though, was the large bed across from you. It was covered by a thick blanket with… a _fuckton_ of complicated looking mathematical equations printed on it. You grinned as you looked back to Sans, who had moved farther into the room.  
“You're a little nerd, arentcha,” you sneered, watching as Sans turned to glare at you angrily.

“AM NOT!!!” He said, but you laughed as you sat down on the bed.

“Come on, I can see you're totally into math,” you said, less jokingly now. And as if to agree with that statement, Sans explained a lengthy extremely complicated mathematical equation that you couldn't remember or repeat if your life depended on it. You couldn't see his face, as he was glancing at the trophies on top of his shelf, but he sounded like he enjoyed himself.

That was, until he turned his face towards you, looking you dead into the eye and saying,

“I CAN REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE MATHEMATICAL EQUATION THERE IS, BUT I STILL CAN'T READ PROPERLY.”  
Shocked, it took you a few moments for the words to sink in. Then you began laughing, and so did Sans as he sat down next to you. You told him of how you remember the time the two of you went to elementary school together. How he always used to fall asleep in class.  
“And I totally told the teacher, like, every single time you did,” you said with a big goofy smile. “Oh, wait. Oh my god, that was actually really shitty of me wasn't it?” You suddenly realized, feeling bad.  
“UH, YES SORT OF.”  
“Wow, holy shit, I'm sorry. Oh my god, it _totally_ was. You were my best friend and I kept snitching you to the teacher!” Despite feeling genuinely bad and guilty you began laughing. “I was a total asshole! Oh my god, I don't know what I was thinking, I'm sorry man.”  
Sans laughed with you, as he shook his head. “THAT'S AGES AGO, FORGIVEN AND FORGOTTEN.”

And, you know how it goes. One thing lead to another, and eventually you found Sans pinning you down on the bed. You were totally about to bang, you realized. And least you would've, but instead of you, something else banged. It was the door. Papyrus was knocking it.

Grinning mischievously, Sans made a motion as if to say, “one sec,” before he took the collar off of your neck. He threw it into one of the large closets, locked it and then went to open the door.

“HEY PAPY!” He said, and that was only the beginner of a lengthy conversation between the two brothers.  
You realized you weren't going to bang anyone any time soon.

**Author's Note:**

> after that I remember a long phase of a lot of bombs (in a talk show?), getting chased by harambe and accidentally closing the window my dream was running on  
> and either in that or in the next dream there was Swapfell sans stepping on me while "Stamp on the ground" was running in the background
> 
> If you like this tell me and I might write more one-shots of undertale related dreams I had!


End file.
